Coaching brings me into contact will all kinds of fabulous people. They get their self esteem in different ways and some need to improve on the source they choose once they realise whether it’s working well for them.
Here’s a little ditty I wrote (didn’t think anyone else would own up!) about how people sometimes see others ambitions or pretensions, drawing ridicule.
‘I’m a hog washin’ wish willer
I put my dreams on the boat tiller (or yacht, dear!)
I’m special ya know
From ma head to ma toes
I’m a hog washin’ wish willer!
Swill, swill, swill, swill! Swill, swill, swill swill!’
People try hard to be positive, but some do get carried away and suffer from Mrs. Bucket, syndrome. (Played brilliantly by Patricia Routledge).
Mrs. Bucket doesn’t believe she suffers from it, but everyone else around her, including those she tries to impress, get the side effects, which is why the show works so well.
There are more than two sides to this syndrome. One is self delusion through pretension, but with added benefits. Mrs. Bucket got herself where she wanted to be, surrounded by the things she believed served to communicated her rightful place in the world. For her it worked, although she was hungry for more through accumulating contacts with certain conspicuous status.
Then, as usual, the old jalopy driven by her scruffy relatives arrived, causing timely havoc in Mrs. Buckets world. She has disassociated herself from her roots, she is not them even though she is of them. They are the built in ‘slip’ that shows she has been somewhere else less manicured and middle class.
Sometimes my clients trip themselves up by mistaking their past as a route map for their present and future. Many times some forget to celebrate the wins they have had in their struggle to improve their lives. If they do acknowledge what they may believe is a less than publicly reportable life, their self imposed shame robs them of their well earned wins, but also taints the wins they go on to achieve. This become the inner voice of self doubt. How can they succeed when this ‘truth’ is under the surface? My job is to help them look at their truth (when they trust me enough), in a more helpful way.
It’s okay to try new things and bluff until you make it. Some very notable, wealthy success was achieved this way, but when the delusion goes too far, or turns into a negative, we have to really look out.
A large percentage of the population suffer from various types of mental maladies at some stage in their lives. The most serious being clinical illness. Something has gone very wrong and some of the more extreme cases may they think they are Napoleon, or the Virgin, Mary. This is a specialised field of which I have no part, except from witnessing mental illness in my own family when younger.
Why would I admit it? Mrs. Bucket wouldn’t, unless she could trace it to a long dead royal with a similar problem, swinging off the chandeliers thinking they were a canary. This is not to belittle or insult someones illness, just helping to make a point about pay offs. Mrs. Bucket is slightly tapped in my view, but resolute about it!
When people deny reality they deny potential. There is no harm in dreaming, focusing, meditating, chanting affirmations, praying, and being inspired, but we have to establish a base line to get us where we want to be properly and deliberately.
Getting to the true base line as quickly as possible is the most important thing (depending on the client) as some of the most involved work of a coach. When this is achieved we can move them forward without tripping over too many buckets to collect their bouquets. Contact me for a free chat about your personal or business goals.
Statuam … Coaching at your speed