Are you feeling powerless? Do you feel disregarded, cornered, manipulated, pushed either directly, or indirectly? I am using Neuro linguistic programming in this article, but only read it now if you benefit. 😉
People learn about their vulnerabilities and some assume they have a vulnerability they do not have, until they practice enough! This started early. Why? To fit in.
To be liked, to keep everyone happy. In actuality they weren’t happy, having done whatever it was, and were left with a template they have practically signed in blood. It provided them with a certain outcome, which although it was not great, for most was not terrible, but nagged at them all the same. So they did more of it, surely that was right? They may have received an occasional crumb of acceptance and even fleeting appreciation, but in the emotional fuel tank of satisfaction, most of it was paid out, not paid in.
“But nice people don’t get paid!” Don’t they? Is that why you didn’t get the pay raise or promotion, or get asked to join in the fun?
Interruption: Did you notice how the previous paragraph was written? Past tense. For those of you who want to make similar things past history, it was written retrospectively because I know you want a better life where you get full blooded certainty from positive occurrences and a much better feel good result, if you want it.
Article Resumption: Some people end up believing and living the ‘pleasing others’ template to their detriment. How can this happen? A phobic or dysfunctional parent, a clique at school, pressure from peers, boyfriends, girlfriends. Anyone they feel the need to connect with, really!
Why? No one made them believe they could resist someone else’s will. No one told them it was okay to say no. They could not see certainty, comfort or significance as the reward, because they only ever got the anaemic reward of slight satisfaction and inclusion.
Low self esteem is learned. It’s not weakness.
There is always someone trying to make someone else believe that their will is more important, their ideas are more valid, their actions are more excusable, and or supportable. From the animal kingdom to humans, it was ever so.
Does this mean they are right? No. It just means they are a lot more pushy. They need to feel significant and need followers to enable this feeling. It has to start somewhere and usually it’s when very young.
You need to decide how you want to be enabled. Are you too pushy or not pushy enough? The only way you will ever know is if you are ‘present’, living in the moment. Choose which one.
I’m the coach people go to to get themselves somewhere, or something better.
Contact me now.
Statuam … Coaching at your speed.